In Attendance: Nantucket Sleigh Ride, Bitch Warmer, Alice in Lickerland, Twatanic, 250cc of Semen, Always Fucking Nasty, Cums and Runs, 2nd Class Cunt, Drama Queen Bitch, NNChris, Danny Bonadouchebag, and who ever else was there but I can not remember your name.
Virgins: NNBubba, Drama’s virgins from the NE Columbia bar scene
ON-After: Carolina Wings & Rib House
This trail is brought to you by: Bitch Warmer and Nantucket Sleigh Ride, but mostly by Bitch Warmer. That is according to Nantucket. However everyone knows by his own admission that Nantucket lies, so this trail might have been more Nantucket than we were led to believe.
As always, please forgive this Hasher for the transgressions he is about to write, for he knows not what he is doing nor is he a literary or lyrical master.
Today’s trail started all the way out in the BFE of Columbia, which is also known as Blythewood. It was a cool 85 degrees outside; while we were waiting for the circle to start and most of the hashers were still complaining that is was still too hot out and we are talking Fahrenheit here not that stupid Celsius crap either. WE are in Columbia for Heaven’s Sake, 85 degree weather is when most of us have on pants. After the late as usual starting, likely just to hear the hashers complain more about the not so hot weather.
We started the opening circle of the 52nd trail for the SHHH. Due to this being a run of the mill trail with no theme and for no other reason except to watch someone new to the Hash sweat and not due to the heat, we let someone who took a year off of hashing since he moved here to join us, and has supposedly never seen a Hare Blessing, bless our hares. Needless to say our newly acquainted with Hasher Danny Bonadouchebag, blessing was pretty awful and was in need of assistance by some of our upstanding circle members.
After the blessing the hares were shooed away, so the rest of the pack could explain how we all got our hash names.
On-On to trail and to the first of supposedly two beer stops. Our hares took us for a nice tour around the backside of Bitch Warmers apartment complex and to the main road. While in the hunt for this elusive nectar of the god’s our always dramatic queen, Drama Queen Bitch decided to battle it out with an angry wasp. In the mean time, our friend from the Deep South NNBubba, found some pornographic periodicals and a DVD in the ditch of the road.
We found out later that NNBubba decided to keep the porn DVD, for future use.
After our first beer stop, the trail to the second beer stop was never found. However what was found was the trail back to the closing circle. Apparently every single member of the pack missed the markings for the second beer stop, which is very hard to believe. As we tend to take our love for beer very seriously and will hunt it down like a bloodhound hunts for an escaped convict. However the hares insist that it was there, and marked boldly, so that everyone could find it. Needless to say they were well accused of not having a second beer stop in circle. The only trail violations that happened were due to Drama Queen Bitch’s virgins and she drank heavily for it. The On-After was held at the local Carolina Wings and Ale House, where some food was eaten and not much else.
With this being said, I am tired of writing and you are tired of reading my dribble. If not you might “have some serious issues that you need to drink out”. So it is time to move on to the next SHHH trail. Until then my fellow hasher, “may the Hash go in peace, may the Hash get a piece”.
ON-ON!
2nd Class Cunt
